The Truth Behind Halloween

Halloween is easily in the top ten awesome holidays. Free candy, ladies in skimpy outfits, and tupac-o-lanterns are all staples of this wonderful time of year. Less importantly, this holiday pays tribute to anything that, now or at any time in the past, had the power to cause fear in mankind. Witches, feminists, vampires, ghosts, and Mysterys(you call yourselves zombies, but I'm on to you. No, the Pickup Artist's techniques don't work, not even on Halloween. So cut it out already you're just depressing everybody) are just a few of the horrifying entities paid tribute on Halloween.
But what's the point? Halloween used to be a pagan holiday, and the traditions carried out today are just adaptations of certain ancient traditions if the film "The Halloween Tree" is to be believed. The problem is, "The Halloween Tree" was a terrible movie, and even worse children's book. Seriously the guy who wrote it should be metaphorically kicked in the crotch. He actually tries to use the word "lollicking" omninously. Clearly the guy is the Daisy De La Hoya of authors.
Halloween, for all its wonders, has never been regarded as classy. Sure, many have tried, through dressing up in top hats, tuxedos, pocketwatches, and the like, giving out caviar to trick-or-treaters, but overall the classy element has never been prevalent in Halloween.
The true purpose of Halloween is simple; Halloween is a time where the normal rules of society do not apply. Classiness, nutrition, and normal clothing are all completely disregarded on this day(well, night, nobody really cares about Halloween day). People go looking to be scared, what with all the movies out(though, seriously, these movies are really, really stupid. Saw was great, but six?!!!! Really??!!!!!) and typically venture outside their comfort zones. Despite the cold, ladies dress in the tightest and most ridiculously tiny outfits they could find(even when they shouldn't) of their own accord. So go forth and enjoy this magical time ye fiends and Roundtablers, and hope that your costume components arrive before Halloween. It would totally suck otherwise.