Slapsgiving: Great Holiday, or Greatest Holiday?

An excited child prepares for his Slapsgiving feast

This coming thursday, the third thursday in November, is, as most of you are aware, the noble and ancient holiday of Thanksgiving; a day of joy in which we all take a moment out of our busy lives to enjoy the comforts of family, turkey, stuffing, gravy, more turkey, more family, backyard football, and for a certain lucky few (me) birthday cake. However there is one aspect of this holiday that is missing from most Americans' Thanksgiving celebrations. I am referring to, of course, the requisite slap in the face.

This new tradition has been gaining popularity faster than Fancy Friday ever since its magnificence was shared with the world a year ago on the classic episode of How I Met Your Mother. Now that the existence of Slapsgiving has been shared with the world, we must ask ourselves a number of important existential questions.
1. Why is this day different from all other days?
2. What makes Slapsgiving so popular?
3. Are there any life lessons one cannot learn from How I Met Your Mother?
4. How does Arash make his bicycle fly? (No its not pterodactyls. That theory has been discredited since its publication,)
and most importantly
5. Who is going to be dealing the "slap heard round the world" at your table this Thursday?

Now to answer my own questions:
1. This day is different from all other days because the post office won't deliver your mail, its illegal to operate heavy machinery, the NFL continues to subject viewers to the Detroit Lions, and because you finally get to slap Uncle Larry in the face.
2. Duh, you get to slap your least favorite family member/friend in the face. Whether he's "that guy" who's always there to annoy you, or just stealing all the beers from your minifridge, he deserves it! (Note: even in this age of gender equality, Slapsgiving should not be conferred upon a female under any circumstances.)
3. No. Everything there is to learn in life can be learned in one simple half-hour viewing per week. Whether its the bro code, the playbook, or the naked man, all simple truths of life are contained in this show, placing it on a level of classiness not seen since the cancellation of Arrested Development.
4. The world may never know.
5. Nobody know's for sure, but my money is on your Aunt Linda. Seriously, nobody's gonna see it coming.

And there you have it. Everything you didn't even know you needed to know about the greatest holiday Hallmark doesn't sell a greeting card for, all conveniently contained within one handy article. Read, process, and enjoy.