Roundtable Friday: Reloaded

In my full official capacity of random nutty guy who

1. posts stuff on this blog
2. is taking a very intense math class, and
3. rambles on whenever he gives himself this kind of writing assignment,
   

I would like to welcome you, one and all, to Roundtable Friday: Reloaded. Unlike certain other 'reloaded' pieces of culture (i.e. The Matrix: Reloaded, The Teletubbies: Reloaded, and The Projectile Weapon That Might Hurt You or One of your Friends, Family Members, or Other Associates: Reloaded), I am confident, nay, sure, that Roundtable Friday: Reloaded will be unto the original (and now unfortunately past) Roundtable Friday as a very tasty dessert is to a very tasty meal.

For those of you who don't do well with analogies, I meant that I am sure Roundtable Friday: Reloaded is going to awesome in general, and Very Classy in particular.

So. Enough with the introductions. Here's what we're going to do:

• Digitalize and upload all of the paper editions of the News of the Roundtable - some of these have already been posted (look doooowwwnnn...)
• Add informative and interesting new articles, of great importance to all of you. For example, did you know that Pterodacyls have been recently sighted in Arizona? Or how about that certain Universities are offering classes in unclassiness? Or how about the Large Classiness Supercollector and the international controversy it has generated. Soon, you will...
• Reload Ask the Tuber. This has actually already been accomplished. Simply send all of your important questions to askthetuber@gmail.com ... and the Tuber will answer on this very page...
• And plenty more. I'll tell you later. I have classiness to work on.

If you want to help, we will be in contact. Send a message to askthetuber@gmail.com with your credentials and ideas or articles. We'll know what to do with it.

Muhahahahahaha...

With All Due Respect,


"Kevin" Root


P.S.: Why am I calling myself Root? Because I read to much. Now go away - or better, stay here, and help make the World... classy.

Oh, the real reason? I'm not giving away my name on the internet...

Fourth Period Lunch Subculture

Reprinted from Issue II, March 29, 2009. 
It is not often that one group of people can experience such drastic change in one year, but the fourth period lunch brigade has made an unprecedented transformation. In recent weeks, it has become increasingly clear that every member of fourth period lunch is becoming exactly the same person. What once started off as a table full of individuals with unique personalities and interests has turned into one cohesive unit in which no one has any of their own thoughts or ideas. People around the school have taken notice of this revolution and Rabbis from throughout the school have come up with names such as “The Fourth Musketeers”, “The Fantastic Fourth”.

One can often walk by the table and hear a screaming of “Woahh!” by any number of students, even those one would never suspect to scream something with such reckless abandon just a few weeks ago. Added one forty year old
student, when asked about the Fourth Period Lunch Brigade, “Hirchsfeeeld!” On any given day, the brunt of the conversation, or rather random outbursts,
coming from the table revolves around exaggerated drug use, the poor quality of the yearbook, and blue jello. Every member of the lunch period now
possesses the same level of “gansgta flare” and can often be found assaulting unsuspecting English and Health teachers, regardless of how innocent they may have once been.