This is getting annoying

Does anyone actually read this? 'Cause all I know is that I (and perhaps once a month Shatzmaster3000 and perhaps once every 3 months WickedJumbo) am pretty much the only one posting here. It's getting annoying. I don't mind being a big part of this, if no one else wants the responsibility, but I do mind being the only one who's ever writing stuff here.

So here's the deal:

1. I continue programing the Arash game, because I'm cool like that. (I know, it doesn't work for some of you, and some of you don't see the bicycle. I'm working on it...)
2. I stop writing articles here.
3. People post articles (if they're already contributors to the blog. If they aren't contributors, they can send an email to askthetuber@gmail.com ; we will arrange it so that any articles contained in that email are published, and, if you want, the sender of the email will be added as a contributor).
4. For every article someone else posts, I'll post an article of my own.

There. That's a pretty good deal. I'm still doing more than half the work...
But until someone else posts/sends something, I'm on strike.

If you don't really care about the News of the Roundtable, we can end it here. But if you do care, it's time to work a little for it.

Happy Roundtable Friday. Make it a good one.

The Ballad of the Roundtable

Editor's Note: See the important announcement, below.

After writing my first poem, The Soundtrack to My Nightmares, I was shocked at how well it was received. (There's a really good story behind it - ask me if you haven't heard it. But while it was being read in class, I actually started cracking up. This also happened when, near the end of Junior Year, the teacher of the infamous "BC on a Boat" class gave me a math prize. It seems that whenever I actually get honored for something I did well, I start cracking up and generally making a fool of myself. Remind me not to ever win a Nobel Prize - it would be most embarrassing if got up to accept it and then started laughing for a straight fifteen minutes.)
Anyway, the reception to Soundtrack gave me the idea that I was suddenly the Poet-laureate of the Roundtable. And, of course, the Roundtable must have its own ballad - the words to its theme song, if you will.
I haven't made as much progress as I had hoped, but I promised something special for this Roundtable Friday, and I won't be able to deliver (see below, for an explanation, or above, for a link to below). Thus, as a consolation prize, I present below selected fragments from what will become The Ballad of the Roundtable.

---

Since they were the fiends
Of the Roundtable,
One might guess at what they
Did whene'er able.

But that may overstate their
Drugs and understate
Their other acts: Classiness
Was their law and fate.

Behold! They justly roamed
The vast, ancient school,
And upon their travels spread
classiness and cool.


---

Remember, that's only a preview and prototype. I'm too tired even to have proofread it - but it's something.

Keep it classy.

Scheduling fails: They're in all of us.

My associate, The Three-Thousandth Master of Shatz (a.k.a. Shatzmaster3000, but I like my way better), frequents the dark corner of the Internet known as Failblog.

(Thankfully, he does not frequent far darker corners of the Internet, like "/b/." I did not provide the link to /b/, because visiting it is probably a worse idea than, say, slitting your throat. Wikipedia says someone important says "reading /b/ will melt your brain." You don't want a melted brain, now, do you? I most certainly do not. Let's both stay away from /b/, and focus on happier topics, like the impending doom of classiness due to unclassiness. Seriously, though, stay away from /b/ if you value your life.)

On Failblog, I am told, are various 'fails,' or mistakes that people make. These fails can range from the humorous to humorous-and-yet-very-painful-to-the-person-who-did-it. Well, there's no need to go to Failblog for fails. We've got them right here.

I made a number of statements regarding an important post that would be posted on Wednesday, November 11. Then I realized November 11th was a Thursday. Then I realized I actually wanted 12/11/09, which I took as Friday, November the 12th. Then I realized that 12/11/09 actually means December 11th. So I was completely and awfully wrong. The correct special-edition article will be posted on the appropriate date, the 12th of December.

Update: As it turns out, this Friday is actually the 13th of November, not the 12th. Another scheduling post, another scheduling fail.

I will be posting an article for tonight/tomorrow, this Roundtable Friday. Unless the Master of Shatz beats me to it.

My apologies for the fails.

With all due respect,

root@kevin

BREAKING NEWS: Due to "Fancy Friday" this week's issue of NOTR has been canceled

Editor's note: No, you didn't miss anything. Today is, unfortunately, not Fancy Friday. Instead, we are taking advantage of this Roundtable Friday to re-start our endeavor to digitalize all of the print edition of the News of the Roundtable. And we started with this article (which was the entirity of NOTR print Issue III, published on Fancy Friday, April 23, 2009) because we remembered just how much everyone loved it, and just how much hard effort Mr. J        T      (now of John's 'Hopkin' University) put into this remarkably well written article.

 

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Roundtable Friday: Reloaded

In my full official capacity of random nutty guy who

1. posts stuff on this blog
2. is taking a very intense math class, and
3. rambles on whenever he gives himself this kind of writing assignment,
   

I would like to welcome you, one and all, to Roundtable Friday: Reloaded. Unlike certain other 'reloaded' pieces of culture (i.e. The Matrix: Reloaded, The Teletubbies: Reloaded, and The Projectile Weapon That Might Hurt You or One of your Friends, Family Members, or Other Associates: Reloaded), I am confident, nay, sure, that Roundtable Friday: Reloaded will be unto the original (and now unfortunately past) Roundtable Friday as a very tasty dessert is to a very tasty meal.

For those of you who don't do well with analogies, I meant that I am sure Roundtable Friday: Reloaded is going to awesome in general, and Very Classy in particular.

So. Enough with the introductions. Here's what we're going to do:

• Digitalize and upload all of the paper editions of the News of the Roundtable - some of these have already been posted (look doooowwwnnn...)
• Add informative and interesting new articles, of great importance to all of you. For example, did you know that Pterodacyls have been recently sighted in Arizona? Or how about that certain Universities are offering classes in unclassiness? Or how about the Large Classiness Supercollector and the international controversy it has generated. Soon, you will...
• Reload Ask the Tuber. This has actually already been accomplished. Simply send all of your important questions to askthetuber@gmail.com ... and the Tuber will answer on this very page...
• And plenty more. I'll tell you later. I have classiness to work on.

If you want to help, we will be in contact. Send a message to askthetuber@gmail.com with your credentials and ideas or articles. We'll know what to do with it.

Muhahahahahaha...

With All Due Respect,


"Kevin" Root


P.S.: Why am I calling myself Root? Because I read to much. Now go away - or better, stay here, and help make the World... classy.

Oh, the real reason? I'm not giving away my name on the internet...