This is getting annoying

Does anyone actually read this? 'Cause all I know is that I (and perhaps once a month Shatzmaster3000 and perhaps once every 3 months WickedJumbo) am pretty much the only one posting here. It's getting annoying. I don't mind being a big part of this, if no one else wants the responsibility, but I do mind being the only one who's ever writing stuff here.

So here's the deal:

1. I continue programing the Arash game, because I'm cool like that. (I know, it doesn't work for some of you, and some of you don't see the bicycle. I'm working on it...)
2. I stop writing articles here.
3. People post articles (if they're already contributors to the blog. If they aren't contributors, they can send an email to askthetuber@gmail.com ; we will arrange it so that any articles contained in that email are published, and, if you want, the sender of the email will be added as a contributor).
4. For every article someone else posts, I'll post an article of my own.

There. That's a pretty good deal. I'm still doing more than half the work...
But until someone else posts/sends something, I'm on strike.

If you don't really care about the News of the Roundtable, we can end it here. But if you do care, it's time to work a little for it.

Happy Roundtable Friday. Make it a good one.

Movie Review: Fiend Girls!

The world has experienced some tragic disappointments over the years. The epic collapse of the Mets franchise, the dominance of Philadelphia over New York(the teams that matter, anyway), the rejection of the entire current and former staff of NOTR from so-called "Ivy League" universities, the last Guns N' Roses album, the new season of How I Met Your Mother, and the very unclassy and untimely death of Patrick Swayze(may he rest in peace. Amen.). All of these were tragedies, some more so than others. However, the recent release of the short independent fil "Fiend Girls" rivals all of them in the heartbreaking disappointment it causes in its audience.
Not since the release of the epic masterpiece "The Rise and Fall of the Nazi Dinosaurs" has NOTR seen fit to write a movie review. But while "The Rise and Fall of the Nazi Dinosaurs" is an uplifting and emotional work of art, "Fiend Girls" deserves mention for being almost as disappointing as the New York Mets.
Much like the Mets, "Fiend Girls" looks like it could be something special. Where the Mets have Johan Santana, "Fiend Girls" has the word "Fiend" in the title. Where the Mets have Jose Reyes, "Fiend Girls" has the presence of a unibrow. However, as we all know, Santana and Reyes got hurt and the Mets are starting to resemble the New York Knicks in futility. Despite the great potential inherent in its most basic elements, "Fiend Girls" fails to deliver.
Clearly the creators of this film have no respect for the sanctity of unibrows or fiends. The girls depicted in this film are no more deserving of the term fiend than a certain Fraudmaster who shall remain nameless. This disrespect has brought the film close to the vh1 level in terms of unclassiness, and everybody involved deserves nothing less than a donkey punch on a boat in the middle of nowhere.
The film goes wrong even in the aspects that seem unimportant. "Fiend Girls" was meant to be a spoof of the film "Mean Girls" with a similar message: "coolness is what you think it is". Well, everybody knows that classiness is the coolest attribute possible. Plus, the unibrowed girl playing the part of Lindsay Lohan more closely resembles the post-crack whore version of said actress than the hot version that appears in "Mean Girls"
In short, this film is the greatest disappointment since the establishment of New Jersey. Clearly these filmmakers had no idea what sacred mythology they were toying with and created an abomination of Frankenstein-esque proportions. As such, NOTR is instituting a moment of silence to commemorate the classiness lost by the creation of this film. Amen.

The Terrible Tragic Tale of Tiger

What has happened to the world? In the ever-constant battle of classiness versus unclassiness, unclassiness has recently scored a devastating victory over the tophat-wearing forces of classiness. The downfall of Tiger Woods, champion of golf(the second-classiest sport, behind only library-style crochet) is an unmitigated disaster.
The champion of this classic and classy sport had everything: charity organizations(always classy) many championships and titles(very much classy) and quite the attractive wife( not necessarily classy, but can't hurt). A series of events have undone this once classy individual. Or "transgressions". However you would like to put it.
First off, the car accident. It happens sometimes. It is, of corse, unclassy, but survivable. What really took the classiness away from Tiger is the same thing taking classiness away from television; vh1. When this so-called waitress, clearly upset with vh1's inability to fix her relationship on vh1's "Tool Academy", first claimed she had proof that she had been having an unclassy affair with Tiger, it could have been said that it was simply an effort to be put in the public eye, much like the whole vh1 thing was. But Tiger didn't deny it. And that hurt classiness almost as much as Gans Meltdown Tuesday. The forces of classiness must strike back. But how?

Arash: Flying Bicycle: Update!

Editor's note: The programmer was feeling lazy. Maybe the game will be up later...

I'm pleased to announce that our featured game, Arash: Flying Bicycle, is actively in development. Version 1.0, codenamed "Flying Circus," is scheduled to be released sometime in the upcoming Roundtable Friday.

You heard right, folks. The first version of Arash: Flying Bicycle is expected to be up and running before the Sabbath begins and Roundtable Friday ends.

I think it's time to throw in a screenshot. But I'm too lazy, so I'll just give you the photoshoped promo instead.

Version 1.0 is only a drop in the bucket compared to what I'm planning for Arash: Flying Bicycle, but it's complex enough to be a standalone game. Here's what I'm planning:

Arash: Flying Bicycle is written in Java because that's the only real programming language I know at the moment. Also, Java is useful because it won't only run on Windows, but also on Linux, FreeBSD, Solaris, OS/2, BeOS Haiku, Mac OS X and whatever other nutty operating systems you can dig up. (Editor's note: Java does work on OS X. The author just felt like crossing it out anyway. I'm sure you can understand...)

Version 1.0 will be similar to that stupid little game which I don't exactly remember how to describe. You'll know what I'm talking about when you see it. The object of the game is for the player, controlling Arash and his magical flying bicycle, to catch up to a car, which contains hot girls.

Version 1.5, codenamed "Flying Castle (Oh, wait, that was actually called Moving Castle, too bad),"  will be a minor upgrade of 1.0. Pretty much, a few better graphics.

The fun really starts with version 2.0, "Bycicle Built for (Version) Two," which will not only contain the "classic" Arash adventure from version 1.0, but also an all new campaign mode! Yes, we're going all out with a fully fledged fight for freedom and Fridays.

But surely, you ask, what could Arash do besides chase after girls? Well, save the world, for one thing. Besides, this isn't just a game for Arash, but for the entire News of the Roundtable. Fiends who are easily disturbed by such plot elements as 'Stairway to Heaven,' 'TI-89 Titanium with Laser Beams,' 'The Destruction of New Jersey,' 'being on a boat,' and 'President of the ICC' are advised not to play the campaign mode, because all of these options are expected to be included.

Versions 2.1 through 2.20 will be releases of new levels for the campaign mode. The working titles (which basically mean that I know what I'm talking about, and you don't) for all 21 levels are as follows:

1. Introducing a Very Handsome Man
2. Flying Bycicle
3. Man in the High Castle (Includes bonus cutscene: Anathem)
   
4. East of Eden
5. Many Waters
6. On a Boat (Includes bonus cutscene: Overclassing)
7. Storm of Swords
8. Caves of Steel
9. Paths of the Dead (Includes bonus cutscene: Fountains of Paradise)
10. Path of Heaven
11. Stairway to Heaven
12. Fires of Heaven (Includes bonus cutscene: Boom!)
13. Pebble in the Sky
14. Currents of Space
15. The Stars, like Dust (Includes bonus cutscene: Starship Titanic)
16. Leviathan
17. Iron Sunrise
18. The Naked Sun (Includes bonus cutscene: Chain Rule)
19. Return of the King
20. The Last Battle
21. Bonus Level (Includes bonus cutscene: Bonus Cutscene)

(Note: Most of those titles were references to books. Do not be alarmed! Few if any of those references will actually be used in the game.)

Yeah. Then we've got version 3.0, codenamed "Flying Fish," which will include our genius new multiplayer game, Superior Smashing Brethren (which is most certainly not a blatant ripoff of Super Smash Brothers. Oh, no.). All Fiends of the Roundtable are invited, nay, encouraged, to send a profile of themselves in to askthetuber@gmail.com for inclusion in this excitingly Superior Smashing madness! And probably to the campaign as well. (Note: please base your profile on how Super Smash bros. actually works. Feel free to submit multiple profiles for yourself, your friends, your worst enemies, &c.)

Then version 4.0 will have, um, what are we missing? Well, version 4.0 will be codenamed "Flying Friday," and will include anything that's missing, plus fixes to anything that needs fixing and upgrades to anything that needs upgrading. Version 4.0 will be the last version in the foreseeable future.

Yeah, I'm tired and lazy (Slapsgiving really wore me out!). Have a good Friday, keep it classy, and check back soon for Arash: Flying Bicycle: Version 1.0 (Flying Circus).

'Classic' SYSCO: Truth in Advertising?

Undercover investigators have disguised themselves as 'observant students' and infiltrated a Kosher Food Establishment at the University of Maryland. Their findings are shocking.

Said Kosher Food Establishment's main supplier, SYSCO, bills itself as 'classic.'

We went to SYSCO's website to see if they had an explanation for this claim. What we found reminded us of some of the worst articles ever written for the News of the Roundtable.

(The News of the Roundtable has two types of really awful articles: The first type are those in which the random nerdy guy blabbers on about science and math without any regard to keeping the discussion classy. Hi! The second type of article is awfully edited, awfully written, seems to be the ravings of a deranged and/or high pterodactyl, and would probably get an F if graded by even the classiest of English teachers. SYSCO's explanation falls into the latter category.)

Let's take a look:

(Source: http://www.sysco.com/products/sysco_brands.html)

Did you understand any of that?

I think not.

(I could demonstrate the errors in this all day. But I won't; someone might die of boredom. I'll just give one example: if 'Imperial SYSCO' is 'Simply Excellent,' shouldn't it be called 'Excellent SYSCO?')

But we don't care about the differences between Imperial SYSCO and Supreme SYSCO. We care if Classic SYSCO is really classic.

Well, as you may remember, it is nearly universally agreed upon that something classic must be both classy and old. Let's tackle the easy one first. Is classic SYSCO old?

Well, according to 'The SYSCO Story' (parents, this is quite an amazing story. You should read this to your kids for bedtime) SYSCO had its 'initial public offering in 1970.' So it's not amazingly old, but it's older than me. We'll let it slide.

But is SYSCO classy?

I'll simplify things right now: it is not. Because of interference by the Three-thousandth Master of Shatz, proof of SYSCO's unclassiness is left as an exercise in logic for the reader.


So, apparently SYSCO is old, but not classy.

Therefore, SYSCO is guilty of false advertising. They are most certainly not classic. The ICC has reported them to the Better Business Bureau.

But if SYSCO keeps up this dastardly policy, they could soon find themselves plotting the Rise and Fall of the Nazi Dinosaurs.  

Well, This is Embarrassing: The Scheduling Fail of the Roundtable

In a number of important communications, we mentioned that an important matter would be posted today, November 11. Unfortunately, we made a grievous error. The correct post will be made tomorrow, Friday, November 12.
We apologize for the inconvenience. Keep it classy.
With all due respect,
Kevin

Remembering Archibald

Editor's Note: Archibald MacLeish, one of the most influential figures in the history of classiness, was born 109 years ago today. The News of the Roundtable takes a look at this incredibly classy yet relatively unknown man.
Archibald MacLeish was born on November 5, 1900, to proud parents Ferdinand and Elizabeth MacLeish, in the London Hospital (now known as the Royal London Hospital). As he grew up, young Archibald demonstrated admirable classiness. Family and friends alike knew that this boy was something special.
Archibald grew up, as most living children do. When World War One broke out on July 28, 1914, Archibald tried to volunteer for the Royal Marines despite his young age. Realizing that his classiness could be valuable to the war effort, Archibald became the last drummer boy ever to serve in the Royal Armed Forces. He served with distinction in a number of engagements, including the battle of Amiens.
After the war, Archibald (still a young man of 18 years), founded a small clothing shop in central London. His remarkably classy articles of clothing sold well among the classy English upper class. And when England's King George V declared that the entire British Empire would soon hold a Fancy Friday, MacLeish became a millionaire almost overnight.

By this time, the Second World War was already brewing. The newly formed SIS believed that Archibald MacLeish's talents could be used for the good of the Allied Powers, and recruited him. He was placed in command of the European Division of the Royal Classiness Commission. While much of the RCC's actions are still classified, it is widely believed that the RCC in general and MacLeish in particular were instrumental in ensuring that German Forces did not use the incredibly classy Pickelhaube in battle. This declassification of German Forces is believe to have saved thousands of Allied lives.
As the war drew to a close, the Allied Powers began implementing their ideas for the future: the United Nations. A significant part of this would be the revival of the International Classiness Congress, which had been abandoned as part of the fallout from the Summer Picnic Massacre of 1782. The ICC would define and refine classiness throughout the world. However, a number of classy people, including MacLeish, lobbied against having the ICC part of the UN, based on the UN's remarkable unclassiness. Their request was granted, and in 1945, the ICC was founded as an independent body.
The ICC had traditionally contained only one member, and this new incarnation was no exception. There was little surprise when MacLeish's superior during the war, Rear Admiral Lord Nelson Cornwallis, was appointed to that high post. There was, however, plenty of surprise when Cornwallis was assassinated by a disgruntled Japanese ninja who had somehow survived the firebombing of Tokyo. With the classy community in disarray, Archibald MacLeish was expected to be appointed the next President of the ICC.
There was plenty more surprise when this completely failed to happen. Instead of Archibald, little-known Francis Esterhazy was chosen as the new ICC President.
Archibald returned to his clothing store. In addition, he began teaching classes in classiness at Cambridge University.
The years passed, at Archibald realized that the ICC's 'rule of one' could have disastrous side-effects. While the ICC concentrated classy leadership, it also left less classy people behind. With several of his wartime friends, Archibald MacLeish founded the International Association of Advanced Classiness People (IAACP), whose humble goal was to "cause advancement of classy people throughout the world."
When Esterhazy resigned from his post in disgrace in 1951, MacLeish was finally given the opportunity to take over. As new president of the ICC, MacLeish found himself in the middle of the Cold War, as Pinko Commie forces threatened to obliterate classiness once and for all. With more pressing issues at stake, MacLeish would temporarily disband the IAACP in what he would later call "the least classy move of my entire life." The IAACP would never recover.
Archibald MacLeish would hold the post of President of the ICC for 30 years, from 1951 to 1981 - through most of the Cold War. He retired in 1981 and died a year later. He was 82, and one of the most influential ICC Presidents of all time. Even a partial list of his accomplishments would be to long to fit in this article, so let it suffice to say that he had many accomplishments, and that they were instrumental in creating modern classiness as we know it.

The State of the News of the Roundtable

Today marks the one month* anniversary of the creation of the online version of the News of the Roundtable. Here's how we're doing:

Articles posted (not including this one): 18
Days up: 29
Articles per day: 0.62 (4.3 per week)
Authors: 3
Questions that the Tuber was asked: 1
Huge programming projects which were proposed but will probably never materialize: 1
Most common tags:

• Pterodactyl (used 6 times)
• Arash (used 5 times)
• Friday (used 4 times)
  
• Madness (used 4 times)
• Classy (used 3 times)
  
• Hirschfeeeld (used 3 times)
• Hirschfeld (used 3 times)
• VH1 (used 3 times)

 And, finally, the poll results:

By now, Arash's classiness is well known, but this confirms it.

Also, Senior Medley. Heh.

Something of a split here. Everyone seems to agree that Pterodactyls are not Too Classy, but other than that, there wasn't all that much agreement, although everything clusters around Pterodactyls being Moderately Classy.

Wow. Kanye West! Such a threat to classiness in the world today. (Strangely, no one shared my fears that Antiques Roadshow would make the world Too Classy - people seem much more worried about Underclassification than Overclassification.) Also, who voted for PLP?


*: A 'month' is defined as 4 weeks. Your results may vary.

Excerpts from the Book of Pittinsky

Translator's note: Historians like myself despaired when the Book of Pittinsky was stolen from its safe location in a hotel in Canada about one and a half years ago. Since no copies or translations of the Book were made, we feared that it and its story would be lost to the general public forever.
However, archaeological investigations at an alleged 'Yeshiva High School' in northern New Jersey revealed an amazingly well-preserved copy of the Book, complete with all three portions of the Book of Pittinsky, namely, The Book of Fiends, The Prophecies of Pittinsky, and The Book of Random Other Stuff.
One of the strangest facts about the Book is the veritable babel of languages it is written in. In the first chapter of The Prophecies of Pittinsky alone, fifteen different languages are used, including Quenya, French, Aramaic, Qwghlmian, Klingon, Farsi, and Pig Latin. Why so many languages, including many extremely unclassy ones, were used in the Book remains a question for scholars even today. It also makes the Book very annoying to translate.
Two chapters of the Book are included below: the last chapter of the Book of Fiends (chapter 42) and the first chapter of the Prophecies of Pittinsky. I hope they bring you classiness.

With all due respect,
Prof. Elwin Ransom 
-----

The Book of Fiends, Chapter 42

1)And, lo! in those days, men were real men, Hebrew teachers were real Israelis, and J――― was considered cute: 2)And before all, verily! at the apex of class and classiness alike, were the fiends: 3)And the school prospered from the fiends, and was enriched mightily, even unto the annals of the Book of Wikipedia was its name known: 4)And the fiends brought class, and classiness was amongst the people:
5)And it came to pass, in the fourth year of their reign, that is, the Ninth and Two Thousandth year of the Era of Commonness, that the fiends graduated, and were removed from the School: 6)And the people said "Woe! What shall become of us?" for the fiends had graduated: 7)And the school was darkened beneath the heavens, and its people were unclassy, for they wore unclassy clothes, and were promiscuous in the library but not in the parking lots: 8)And new grades arose, which had not known the fiends, and they exiled the pterodactyls, and replaced the round tables with square ones: 9)And they refused to be on a boat, and they sent in their reconciliation forms, yea! even unto the thousandth form:
10)And the school was conquered by the Class of 2010, and by the Class of 2011, and even by the class of 2012: 11)And the people cried out unto whatever deity(s) they happened to believe in at the time, saying, "Whence are the fiends that were with us in the days of yore, yea! even unto their days of graduation?: 12)Let them return, and be classy amongst us, such that we too may be classy:" 13)But the prayers of the people were unanswered, for the people were unclassy:
14)And it came to pass that all the grades that knew the fiends had graduated: 15)And in those days, all the teachers and administrators who had known the fiends had retired, lo! even unto Dr. Stein who sat in the principal's office: But the legend of the fiends lived on in the memories of the Faithful, and word of the Round Table was not forgotten beneath the heavens:

The Prophecies of Pittinsky, Chapter 1

1)And it was, in the fourth year since the Fiends had graduated, a Dude who was most certainly not an Angel of the L-RD came to me: 2)For he smelled like the leaf of the weeds of Maro and Juana, and his shirt was one of those really ugly Hawaiian things, and he sounded like yo momma: 3)At the place - you know, that little place upstairs that led to the roof - yeah, that place, I saw him: 4)And He started talking, and he looked a little funny: 5)Yea, almost like a fiend he looked: 6)And the Dude spoke unto me, saying: 7)"What do you see, son of whoever Pittinsky's father was?": 8)And I looked and I saw, and behold! there was a table in a shape I did not know: 9)And I said, "It is a table, but I know not its shape.": 10)And the Dude said unto me, "the table is round.": 11)And, behold! the table was round, and its circumference was Pi times its diameter: 12)And I asked unto the Dude, "What is the meaning of this?": 13)And the Dude said unto me, "just as you saw a round table, but did not know its shape, so too will classiness return unto your midst.": 14)And I rejoiced, for we would be classy once more:

Introduction to the News of the Roundtable: For the Unenlightened

Certain "Roundtable evangelists," most notably, my co-blogger Shatzmaster3000 (did I spell that wrong?) seek to spread the Classiness that is the News of the Roundtable to the unenlightened. While I'm not sure what I think of that idea in general, it is important that any new converts we do receive know the meanings of some commonly used terms.

So, in alphabetical order, here are terms you should know:

Arash: Persian (which almost, but not quite, means the same thing as Iranian) music artist. Notable for chasing after girls and possesing a flying bycicle.

• Temptation Music Video (In particular, the flying bycicle is shown staring at 2:25 in this video.)
• Boro Boro Music Video

Book of Pittinsky: Not-at-all-holy scripture of the Roundtable. An excerpt will be posted soon.

Class: (Classy, Classiness, etc.) The primary virtue of the Roundtable. While it is hard to define, classiness is roughly equivalent to coolness, but more so. According to Wiktionary, class is "Admirable behavior; elegance." That's a better definition than I could ever write, so let's leave it there. Classy is an adjective form of class (i.e., "That's one classy hat."). Should not be confused with Classic (see next definition).

• The ICC President's groundbreaking article on classiness 

Classic: (Classical, Classicness, etc.) Both classy and old. For example, while a Beethoven symphony is classic, Arash's song "Boro Boro" is classy. How old a classy object must be to also be classic is relative. In general, classy people old enough to have gray hair (or, better yet, be dead) are old enough to also be classic. See also, previous definition.

Fancy Friday: A special Friday during which participants dress in their fanciest and classiest clothing, and preform classy acts such as, for example, croquet. The most recent Fancy Friday was on April 24, 2009.

Fashionable Friday: The fashion column of the News of the Roundtable. Written in part by yours truly.

• The first appearance of Fashionable Friday

Fiend: A member of a Roundtable. Just as a flock is made up of birds and an air force is made up of pterodactyls, so too is a Roundtable made up of fiends. Note that, despite certain colloquial uses of the word, fiends do not have to be high. Although many of them are...

Fourth Period: A time for lunch which has an above average concentration of fiends. So, for example, If you were eating lunch with three of your fiendly friends, that period of time could be called a fourth period.


Friday: The day of the week between Thursday and Saturday. Commonly considered the classiest day of the week. Most Fridays can be called Roundtable Fridays (see that definition). Certain Roundtable Fridays can be called Fancy Fridays.

Hirschfeld: (Often abbreviated as Hirschfeeeld.) A particularly insane and dangerous pterodactyl.


New Jersey: An awful place to be.


News of the Roundtable: You're reading it. The News of the Roundtable, or NotR for short, is the primary organ of the Roundtable, and is used for the spreading of classiness and related knowledge. The slogan of the News changes frequently, but always follows the same form: For ___ation and ____ation. The current slogan (as of this writing) is: For Eludication and Classification.

Parking Lot Promiscuity: (P.L.P.) Publicly promiscuous behavior in parking lots. Can also be used to refer to promiscuity in other places (for example, "The Pterodactyl was actively engaging in Library Promiscuity.").

Pterodactyl: The greatest threat to humanity, ever. While so-called 'scientists' claim that Pterodactyls died out ages ago, the News of the Roundtable knows the truth. Pterodactyls would normally be identifiable by their wings, but since they adopted disguises, they can now be identified by their unibrows.

Roundtable: A Round table. Roundtables are the symbols of classiness, and also meeting points for various classy people. Square and rectangular tables should be sat at, if able, during all non-Friday days to preserve the sanctity of Roundtables.

Roundtable Friday: The most frequent of the Roundtable's many observances. Roundtables should be sat at, if possible. In ancient days, the print edition of the News of the Roundtable was distributed on Roundtable Fridays.

Tuber: The semi-official mascot of the News of the Roundtable. The Tuber has a coloumn of his very own in the News, in which he will answer all of your questions! Send them to askthetuber@gmail.com.

VH1: This is madness! Yes, this is VH1!

Defining and Refining Class, Classic, Classical, Classicalism, Etc.

Reprinted from Issue II, March 29, 2009.
Because of the inherent unclassiness of defining and explaining that which should be intuitive, i.e. the meanings of the above terms, consider the unclassy time spent writing this literature as a sacrifice for the greater classiness of society.

As strictly monitored by the ICC (International Classiness Congress-yes, it exists; no, you are probably not classy enough to join... few are as there are currently less than two members), the term classiness cannot be rigidly defined. Only examples on a one by one basis can be judged as being 'unclassy,' 'moderately classy,' 'classy,' or 'too classy.'

Note: things that are ‘too classy’ are obviously unclassy, but, for the sake of educating the ignorant, two categories were established. Also, ‘slightly classy’ was once a category but after the Summer Picnic Massacre of 1782 (two hundred campers went on a picnic in the Bolivian jungle wearing casual summer clothes and
top hats - they never returned), the ICC decided the category was too risky, and therefore, unclassy. The ICC doesn’t function based on any criteria other than classiness. For example, the deaths of the two hundred campers were irrelevant when compared to the unclassiness of the risk involved to maintain the category.

The ICC’s motto is: “Classiness should not mean, but be.” -Archibald MacLeish, former member (1900-1982). May his classiness serve as a beacon during these most unclassy of times.

Necessary Responses to:

• Unclassy Behavior: Ignore and look upon condescendingly.
• Moderately Classy Behavior: Advise on how to get to the next step.
• Classy Behavior: Respect, absorb and relish, but do not imitate for replication
  is not classy.
• Too Classy Behavior: Any means that will thwart the efforts of the perpetrator because the only thing worse than being unclassy is being too classy.