Archibald MacLeish was born on November 5, 1900, to proud parents Ferdinand and Elizabeth MacLeish, in the London Hospital (now known as the Royal London Hospital). As he grew up, young Archibald demonstrated admirable classiness. Family and friends alike knew that this boy was something special.
Archibald grew up, as most living children do. When World War One broke out on July 28, 1914, Archibald tried to volunteer for the Royal Marines despite his young age. Realizing that his classiness could be valuable to the war effort, Archibald became the last drummer boy ever to serve in the Royal Armed Forces. He served with distinction in a number of engagements, including the battle of Amiens.After the war, Archibald (still a young man of 18 years), founded a small clothing shop in central London. His remarkably classy articles of clothing sold well among the classy English upper class. And when England's King George V declared that the entire British Empire would soon hold a Fancy Friday, MacLeish became a millionaire almost overnight.
As the war drew to a close, the Allied Powers began implementing their ideas for the future: the United Nations. A significant part of this would be the revival of the International Classiness Congress, which had been abandoned as part of the fallout from the Summer Picnic Massacre of 1782. The ICC would define and refine classiness throughout the world. However, a number of classy people, including MacLeish, lobbied against having the ICC part of the UN, based on the UN's remarkable unclassiness. Their request was granted, and in 1945, the ICC was founded as an independent body.
The ICC had traditionally contained only one member, and this new incarnation was no exception. There was little surprise when MacLeish's superior during the war, Rear Admiral Lord Nelson Cornwallis, was appointed to that high post. There was, however, plenty of surprise when Cornwallis was assassinated by a disgruntled Japanese ninja who had somehow survived the firebombing of Tokyo. With the classy community in disarray, Archibald MacLeish was expected to be appointed the next President of the ICC.
There was plenty more surprise when this completely failed to happen. Instead of Archibald, little-known Francis Esterhazy was chosen as the new ICC President.
Archibald returned to his clothing store. In addition, he began teaching classes in classiness at Cambridge University.
The years passed, at Archibald realized that the ICC's 'rule of one' could have disastrous side-effects. While the ICC concentrated classy leadership, it also left less classy people behind. With several of his wartime friends, Archibald MacLeish founded the International Association of Advanced Classiness People (IAACP), whose humble goal was to "cause advancement of classy people throughout the world."
When Esterhazy resigned from his post in disgrace in 1951, MacLeish was finally given the opportunity to take over. As new president of the ICC, MacLeish found himself in the middle of the Cold War, as Pinko Commie forces threatened to obliterate classiness once and for all. With more pressing issues at stake, MacLeish would temporarily disband the IAACP in what he would later call "the least classy move of my entire life." The IAACP would never recover.
Archibald MacLeish would hold the post of President of the ICC for 30 years, from 1951 to 1981 - through most of the Cold War. He retired in 1981 and died a year later. He was 82, and one of the most influential ICC Presidents of all time. Even a partial list of his accomplishments would be to long to fit in this article, so let it suffice to say that he had many accomplishments, and that they were instrumental in creating modern classiness as we know it.
