With football season newly begun, the adrenaline and psycheness levels countrywide have risen to month-high levels. Viewers of this great game want nothing more than to perform some act of ownage on their own, yet physical limitations and fear keep them away from active participation in the NFL. As a result, the psycheness builds up until the poor victim of hyper-psychenessaplasia resorts in a violent act of release, provoked by even the slightest motivation.
Fights start in grocery stores over the best grapefruits. Angry fans break their televisions. Arash flies his bicycle. Others get it on in the public showers and clog the drains, and others waste their time writing for a fake newspaper/bs blog while they should be writing an essay on Civic Engagement. No matter the response, the sudden loss of psychitude leaves the victim feeling empty inside.
So what is the cure for this horrifying condition? The answer is more simple than you might think. Remember in early elementary school, when you had a never-ending supply of energy and psychitude that somehow never built up to dangerous levels, requiring immediate release? Why was that? Was it because you hadn't a care in the world, and now you've been bitch-slapped by life too many times to fully enjoy just existing?
No. The reason is quite simple: in elementary school, we all were willing participants in the game of Four-Square. Excess psychitude can be expended safely by smacking your average dodgeball into the neighboring squares and the satisfaction of becoming king cures all unhappiness you may be feeling. College students have found solace in their renewed participation in this sport, and it is highly recommended for all readers to form their own Four-Square league as soon as possible to ensure they do not fall victim to hyper-psychaplasia.
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